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Jennifer's avatar

Totally agree. My family has pretty much followed these tenets and while it's hard, it's worked for us. The downside is I married late; the good side is I fully completed my education and training and was able to command a strong part-time wage, with flexible hours. I recently returned to full-time work - my kids were 10, 12, and 12. Our family's needs started to shift and I was able to quickly enter the full-time workforce with a flexible job with decent pay. However, it is still extremely difficult. I can see society's problems so much more clearly now - with two full-time working parents, any kind of community involvement is extremely difficult, school requirements push up against family norms, and there is less time for enrichment as a family because the running of the household takes so much time. I would really like to return to part-time work, but jobs in my field were severely affected by recent budget cuts, and so employment in my sector is uncertain. Also, our cars are 15 years old, we will likely need to replace the roof at some point, and the kids' needs are much more expensive. No one gets everything, but I do feel that communities as well as families really suffer when families are so stretched. I think that moving towards shorter workweeks, with credit for caregiving and community service (so paid work for 20-30 hours with another 10-20 in caregiving or community service), would help families so much. I think fundamentally we have to decide whether families should be dependent on their own resources (which privileges families with higher paying jobs, family money or other support from grandparents - and which puts families with disabled member in an exceptionally tight spot) or whether we are all in this together as a community. With Medicaid and Food stamps at risk (neither of which we need at this time), I think that we are putting lots of stress on families, which likely to reduce family size, the quality of parenting, and community investment. Investing in each other on a voluntary basis and through taxes is pretty much the best thing we can do and I am just so sad that so much of this is at risk.

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Paige Boyer Gomez's avatar

This is excellent and articulates many things that I’ve vaguely felt in response to gender pay gap discussions but haven’t been able to put into words. And personally, I left my part time, very flexible remote job when my son was 8 months old because even with those “ideal” circumstances, I felt I couldn’t do both things well. I don’t know how people “do it all,” but I’ve decided I no longer want to try lol

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